Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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