Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
