this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
