I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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