i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
