p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
No subtext here. People are naked.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
