NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
