Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I need to sanitize my soul.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
