I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
