i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize