I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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