addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
time to smoke my breakfast
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
