are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
