he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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