i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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