I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
