Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
