I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
