Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize