Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
