Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
