Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Congratulations! We have a period
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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