I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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