matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
