Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Randomize
