I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Come on in and take your pants off
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