he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
