I'm gonna have a badass scar
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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