Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
