Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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