went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize