rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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