I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
