I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
