Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
All I want is dick and wine.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
