nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
