All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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