At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
