very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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