Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
