Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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