haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
