so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
