the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
