Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
