your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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