yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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