its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize