He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
