I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
