Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize