I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
