so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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