he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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