3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
