drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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