just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
