Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
